Recently I’ve come across a new parenting trend that is (finally) making a comeback, and naturally I’m also adopting it as a new Nanny Method.
Low and behold, it’s called:
Calm the F*** Down!
If you’re stressing that your child:
- isn’t as educationally advanced as your best friend’s child,
- or that he/she has dreams of being a professional ballet dancer despite having two left feet,
- or that your child is displaying a rather unnerving interest for daredevil antics on the playground monkey-bars
The best option is to implement these steps:
1. calm the fuck down,
2. calm the fuck down. No seriously, chill out!
To be perfectly honest, it’s the only realistic mode of attack majority of the time. It helps you to understand that the children are going to be fine, perfectly fine, so long as you maintain a laissez-faire mentality. Actions incur consequences and consequences result in learning a lesson. It will all work out for the best and in the mean time, that child is getting the opportunity to develop a sense of self.
I remember my mum adopting a similar tactic with my brother and I, and I’ve started trying it out with my own charges. The good old tactic of playing deaf and ignoring the problem, and man is it getting results! I’m not talking about neglect, nor about letting the kids run an absolute riot, break endless things and create all out havoc. More in the sense of, ‘well hey, your problem so you deal with it’. Think it over, understand the situation, create a plan to resolve the issue and sort it out yourself. That simple.
As a kid and when looking to mum to help resolve conflict with my brother (usually the verbal kind at risk of escalating to the pinching, physical war variety), she would simply ignore my insistence that she step in. Her complete lack of interest would:
drive. me. crazy!
So yesterday when I was called (demanded) to intervene in a rather heated debate between The Twins (the subject of which I still have no idea), what did I do? I strolled off and left them to it, joining Miss Charlie who was practicing her fireman slide down the staircase bannister. And I know what you’re thinking… fireman slides + staircase + small child = disaster! Then I remembered,
calm the fuck down!